Impossible. It’s just not possible to ride my bike 140 miles over 4 of the top 10 climbs in the US for a total of 23,000 feet of elevation gain in just three days. That’s over 4 MILES of vertical gain! Impossible.

Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.

- cheesy Adidas ad that I absolutely love

When I was invited to join the Descenders on their annual Monster Climbs trip I accepted immediately. This was just the kind of crazy stunt I needed to get me in shape for France. And at some point, climbing 23,000 feet in the eastern Sierra mountains became possible.

Day 1 - Onion Valley

Ten Descenders began the adventure on Friday morning, loading bikes and gear in cars and heading northbound on I-15 and then Hwy 395 to Lone Pine. The 4.5 hour drive seemed over before it began and soon I was kitting up, preparing for the first Monster, Onion Valley. This first climb was designed as a warm up for the group since we’d spent the day driving from sea level up to 4,000 feet. The road to Onion Valley is only 13 miles long and gains 5,000 feet of elevation up a series of switchbacks.

I was a bundle of nerves and doubts as the ten of us started out. There was a very brisk wind driving out of the NW and we we’re all being very cavalier about it, like “It’s just air!”. If this was a typical Saturday ride we might have cut it short or bailed completely, but we had just driven all day to get here - we could not quit.

Heading up the alluvial fan, I quickly found myself in my lowest gear (34×27) and began a ritual that would haunt me all weekend: double-checking that I was really in my lowest gear. I cannot count how many times I pressed those gear levers, hoping that a magical 11th gear would spontaneously generate itself. It never did, but I never stopped checking either.

I put myself in a small group with Voris and decided to pace with him to the top. No funny-business mind you, I was very intimidated by the steepness of the road and the 25+ mph wind only made things much harder. Because of the wind, the switchbacks alternated between being just steep and hard to being fairly ridiculous. Imagine being bent over your bars, in a paceline going a mere 4.5 mph turning 42 rpm on your smallest gear.

It got down to just Voris, Boyle and myself with Rick and Drew way up the road. Both Rick and Drew are supermen. They like riding with us, but when the fancy catches them, they just go up the road in the kind of style you might find at the Tour de France. Voris, Boyle and I summited together and I snapped this photo to prove I actually made it.

It was then that I realized I am a bit of a stubborn jackass. It was only around 60F and getting colder by the minute. I was soaking with sweat and with the wind howling, it was damn shivery. Everyone had said it was cold on top and to bring your jacket and arm/leg warmers. But standing at the bottom of the climb in 98F heat, it’s hard to understand and rather than trust the people who’ve done the climb before, I elected to save the 2.5oz of cold weather gear, leaving them in the van. That was the last time I made that mistake.

As soon as I started shivering on top I knew I had to descend to warmer climate. Go back and look at that photo of the switchbacks again. Imagine you’re freezing cold and absolutely flying down the steep, narrow road which has been pocked with gravel and rocks and split by heat-expansion cracks. When the wind has your back, it’s all you can do to keep your speed under 40 mph. When you come to a turn, the wind whips around and tries as hard as it can to shove you off the road. My hands ached from braking and I worried seriously about getting a flat from overheating my rims. Lower on the mountain, after the switchbacks, I began to warm up again and thought I was good. But the wind was still too random, jumping out at me like a linebacker. I’ve never steered and leaned so hard right and still gone left before. It was truly amazing. There is an unsubstantiated report of an unnamed Descender managing to record a top speed of 62mph on the descent - yikes! (Mom, it wasn’t me, I promise).

Here’s the elevation profile for Onion Valley - it’s an isosceles triangle

Once we all arrived back at the cars safely, the elation for what we had accomplished set in. We sped back to the motel in Lone Pine for beer, pizza and to watch Tour de France DVDs. Watching Lance crush the peloton up Alpe d’Huez is great motivation.

Keep reading: Day 2 - Horseshoe Meadow and Mt. Whitney Portal

Back to: Day 1 - Onion Valley

Day 2 - Horseshoe Meadow and Mt. Whitney Portal

The wind howled all night long. In the morning, it was still going and I was nervous at breakfast. Today was a big day - we’d climb two beasts for over 11,000 feet of elevation gain in just 65 miles. There was talk of 10% grades for miles on the way to Mt. Whitney portal. I wolfed down a huge bowl of oatmeal, two rubbery hardboiled eggs, and a bunch of juice. The plan was to ride from the motel so we could get a tour of the Alabama Hills as a warm up approach to Horseshoe Meadow Road. The Alabama hills remind me a lot of Joshua Tree - I’m not sure the geology, but it must be very similar composition. I could almost hear the sound of carabiners snapping and rock climbers calling, “On belay!” as we wheedled up a twisty road between the huge boulders.

The best part of the warm up was that the wind was on our backs. We rode easy, pushed up the gentle inclines by the breeze to the base of Horseshoe Meadow Road. The photo below shows the climb in all it’s glory, although it’s important to note that after the last switchback there still remains 3 more miles of steady climbing.

Now why in hell did someone build a road up the side of this cliff? Who looked at that mountain and said to themselves, “Now that’s a great place to build a road!”. The scale of the image is a little deceiving, the first switchback at the bottom is over 2 miles long! Apparently this road was built in three stages over several years - they wanted the road up there that badly! All I can say is, “Thank you! thank you! thank you for all your hard work!”

Once on the meat of the climb, I found Voris and we paced each other to the top. The wind had died down somewhere on the first switchback so we avoided the headwinds like on Onion Valley. As usual, Rick and Drew went off the front and arrived at the faux-summit first. I say ‘faux-summit’ because there is a high point 3 miles short of the actual summit where we re-grouped. You can see it on the elevation profile below. Rob did a super job staying with Drew and Rick for awhile and he ended up arriving third, but you can’t really count Drew and Rick so Rob was first of the ‘B’ squad. Voris and I measured ourselves to the first peak and had a really enjoyable climb. We weren’t pushing so hard that we couldn’t talk and it was really nice to have someone to share the scenery and adventure with.

Here’s a view looking south from the second northbound switchback. Just incredible. It had turned into a really spectacular day now that the winds had calmed. Perfect climbing weather.

Voris and I finally got to the faux-summit where Rick, Drew and Rob were waiting. We left Rob behind to sunbathe a little and we sped down the short 1-mile descent for the last two miles of climbing. It was uneventful and soon we were at Horseshoe Meadow.

It was great being in the mountains again, especially the eastern Sierra. The weather on top was perfect - sunny with still, crisp air and about 75F. I was really feeling a lot of love for the mountains as we made our way back to Rob and the rest of the team.

After a bit of a rest we headed down the mountain. Without the winds it was a pretty fun descent. I don’t have the experience descending that many of the other guys do so I hung back and took my time. After awhile I started to get a feel for the cornering and was able to get my speed up above 40 mph in some stretches.

We re-grouped a little when we hit the flats with the idea that we’d work together against the wind over to the support car. We’d parked a car between Horseshoe and Whitney Portal Rd so we could take a break between climbs and re-supply our bottles and gels. But there was no wind to fight. It felt really good to be on flatter ground again and I hammered it, trying to get a little sporty group going. Jim was up for it and Voris stayed with us, but wasn’t super keen on expending energy at this point - we still had another 3,750 feet of elevation to gain. I was feeling great - you know how some days you just can’t help but go fast? I was having one of those.

We stopped for lunch and Jim pulls out this jar of ice-cold dill pickles, maybe it was the heat in the valley or our salt depleted states, but that pickle was the best pickle I ever had. I’ll bet that jar was empty in less than 30 seconds. A new Descender tradition was born. Pickles!

Some of you may know me as a bit of a competitive guy. You’re probably not surprised to learn that I had been thinking a little bit about where the perfect place would be for me to attack. I was looking to distinguish myself on a significant climb, call it a ’stage win’ if you will. The key thing to understand is that I wanted to prove something to myself, not anyone else. I wanted to know if I had it in me to accomplish something special. Am I really good enough, strong enough to ride away from the group and go all the way to the top of something nasty? There were four Monsters to climb this weekend. Attacking on the first or the second would be dumb cause you still have to climb the last two. And attacking on the last climb of the trip was dangerous cause I couldn’t predict what my form would be like on the last day, or anyone else’s for that matter. I would attack on the third climb, to Mt. Whitney Portal.

The road to Whitney Portal is only about 9 miles long, but it rises 3,700+ feet to around 8,300 with consistently steep grades the whole way. It’s something like 9-10% for the entire climb, which really is ridiculous. We’d already done Horseshoe so this would be a real achievement. It would also mirror almost exactly what I will do in France - on the first day I’ll do Alpe d’Huez, on the second I’ll do a little bit of the Galibier, the Col de la Croix de Fer and finally Alpe d’Huez again. And I want to do well on Huez the second time.

So after lunch, the Descenders got back on the road headed towards the portal. I rode to the front where Voris and Jim were, plugged in my iPod and selected the live Dave Matthews album I’ve been listening to for months. I put in both earbuds, cranked the volume and increased my tempo until my heart rate monitor said 90%. I knew from experience that I could hold 90% for at least an hour and a half - just enough time to get to the top.

I looked down and Voris was following me. Then he was off and chasing. Then I didn’t see him anymore. I didn’t see anyone anymore. I was alone, off the front and blasting away at 90% HR. You know, it kinda hurts to go that hard.

“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.”

- Lance Armstrong

I was heading up 10% grades, the Owens Valley opening up off the side of the switchback and Whitney Portal getting ever so slowly closer at about 6 mph. I wanted to quit. That little “voice” in my head did at least. We had an ongoing conversation that went like this:

The Voice: Sit up and wait for Voris, you can work together.

My Heart: I’m not stopping. I can do this.

The Voice: They are going to catch you anyways.

My Heart: Nope, I won’t let them.

The Voice: This hurts, slow down.

My Heart: You can’t make me. You’re not me.

Up and up I went. I’ve never been to Whitney Portal before so all I had to measure my progress was the mileage. I looked back down the switchbacks at one point and didn’t see anyone behind me. I was really going to do this. Where was Rick and Drew? Them being supermen and all, I had already decided that it didn’t count against my goal if they passed me, but I didn’t see anyone. I sucked down gels and drink without abandon and pedaled hard. All that mattered was getting to the top first.

Up ahead, there was a sign. It was the entrance sign to Whitney Portal. “Holy crap, I did it! I’m here first. There’s no one anywhere! Just me and my bike. I did it! I won.” I stopped by the sign and got off my bike, intending to take a picture and just laid my head down on my saddle. All of a sudden it really hit me what I did and I closed my eyes and had a little “moment”. A hiker nearby was giving me strange looks, but I didn’t much care. Finally, I got myself together, took the photo and realized it’s still another mile and 500 feet up to the end of the road

It was a hard final mile, but I was elated. I pulled up to the snack bar at the top, found a chair in the sunshine and waited for the rest of the team. Drew and Rick were just 3-5 minutes behind me, but had stopped to fix a flat. Then the rest of the team came in, one at a time and I’m not exactly sure of the order. Voris, Boyle, Rob and Guido. Seven of the ten Descenders had made it to the portal, climbing over 11,000 feet in a single day. It was a huge team accomplishment and we all knew it. We sat together, soaking up the sun, enjoying it and not really wanting to go down. Whitney Portal sits in a pine forest with a little lake, surrounded by shining white granite that reminded me of Yosemite Valley. It was really cool sitting there, the seven of us all decked out in Descenders jerseys while tourists eyeballed us and asked, “Did you really ride your bikes up here?”

Finally we decided it was time to go. We saddled up and sped down the mountain, this time I even enjoyed the speed and the sharp turns (I was careful, Mom). We hammered back to town and soon I was laying by the pool with a cold beer in hand. Here’s my elevation profile for the day.

Went out to dinner and had a humongous double cheeseburger with pretty much everything on it. Back to the rooms to watch Lance hammer the 2002 Tour de France again and then early to bed. I was tired, really tired.

Keep reading: Day 3 - Bristlecone Forest

Back to: Day 2 - Horseshoe Meadow and Mt. Whitney Portal

Alarm goes off at 6:30am, but I’m really already awake. My legs are sore. I get up and head over for oatmeal and juice. I don’t really want to choke down another rubber egg, but I do anyways cause it’s good for me. I reward myself with a toaster waffle and head back to the room to stretch and kit up.

It’s a 45 minute drive to Big Pine and the start of our final Monster - climbing to Bristlecone Forest. Looking out the window at the Sierra, I was filled with glory for the mountains.

The climb to Bristlecone Forest is a real doozy. It’s 23 miles long and gains well over 6,000 feet before topping out above 10,000 feet. As Voris put it the night before, it starts out steep and only gets worse. I think this sign best sums it up.

The lower part of the Bristlecone is a really pitchy and twisty. We tried to memorize the corners for the descent and even kicked a few rocks out of the way to make it safer later on. I was really hurting. My legs were sore from the previous day’s adventure and I was waiting for my form to catch back up to me. My heart felt good and I was confident that good form would find me farther up the road. So I hung out in the back of the group and gobbled down GU like it was going out of style.

I almost forgot to tell you about the town signs. You know I like to sprint for town sign “points” and this trip was no different. I added National Forest signs to the list and jumped out every time I saw one. At first, no one really followed me - I’m not sure you even call it sprinting on a 12% grade with the pack going 4 mph. On the second day, Jim (our resident Ciclamino jersey wearer) started going for them too, much to my chagrin since he wins most of the ones he goes for. My strength is that I usually notice the sign first and get it sneakily. So as we neared the halfway point to Bristlecone the group decided there was a point at the support car (which we had dropped off for lunch/refill). Jim looks at me and I know it’s over. But I still have to try, right? I know I can’t get him on a short course, but maybe I can go long and he’ll fade. I take off way too early and he’s right there with me. I keep waiting for him to fade, but he doesn’t. Then he looks over at me and I can tell I am wasting my time. I sit up and he nabs the point. Those fast guys can really get under your skin

After lunch, the group toodles together along a flat section rewarming our legs in preparation for the final 3,000 feet of climbing. Voris has been complaining all morning about his knee and I’ve lectured him on how long it can take to heal a tendon or ligament injury. He’s taken meds and rubbed blue gel on his knee and had even iced it in the car on the drive over. But when he gets a little ahead of the pack I pop up there cause you still never know, right? I ask him, “Hey, are you on a 9 mile breakaway or something?” and he replies, “No, I just want to spin and warm up my knee after stopping for lunch”. Alright, I wait up for the pack… and didn’t see him again until the summit! Apparently his knee felt better and off he went. Congrats to Voris, he ended up topping out just behind Drew.

It’s probably best that I didn’t try to stay with Voris because I did not have the legs. Once back on the climb proper, Boyle got a little ahead of me and I tried to catch him. I worked hard but the gap seemed to just get wider. I tried to power through the steep inside part of each switchback turn in an effort to gain some distance, but he went farther and farther away. Pretty soon my chase developed into survival mode. The situation was devolving into suffering. I turned over the cranks as best I could and when my legs refused, I ordered them on some more. It’s strange to look down and see yourself not pedaling and think, “Hey, who stopped the pedaling?”. I picked a point in the distance and said, “Just get there” and before I got there, I picked a new point. Over and over until I was topping out and there was Voris, cheerful as ever. Waiting to welcome the team to the top.

We rolled over to the visitor center and I immediately laid down in the sunshine, flat on my back. Happy happy happy. Drew had been the first to the top, then Voris, and then Boyle. The rest team came trickling in and pretty soon we were all laying out in the sun, joking and enjoying more tourists who wondered if we really rode our bikes to the top. With no reason to leave we hung out and had a good time. We had climbed 23,000 feet of elevation, on 4 of the top 10 Monster climbs in the US in just 3 days. It was possible after all.

Now the dessert. The descent from Bristlecone was the best of the whole trip. The upper section is a little gravelly, but the lower section is just pure Descender delight. I was feeling good and even managed to stay within sight of the rest of the team down the mountain. I was traveling close to 50 mph on the straights, ripping over rises that give you that empty stomach feeling before braking and diving into sharp corners. Down and down we came, ten Descenders having the time of their lives. It’s good to be a Descender.

Here’s the day’s elevation profile

In the car, on the way back, Guido, Jim and I reflected on the weekend. We considered ourselves lucky to be able to take part in epic adventures like the Monster Climbs weekend. But even more, we’re fortunate to be able to have the epic adventures with a great group of guys like the Descenders. A team of guys who want to play hard and support and challenge each other. We’re out for the team win and we’re going to have a hell of a good time along the way.

It’s all downhill from here. Thanks guys for a great weekend!

Top of bristlecone, originally uploaded by Arlyn Asch.

10,100 ft. Left everything on the road.

Rest break, originally uploaded by Arlyn Asch.

Halfway to bristlecone

Heading to climb the final Monster, originally uploaded by Arlyn Asch.

Bristlecone Pines - 6,200ft over 22 miles. Legs are sore this morning, but i’m motivated leave it all on this last climb of the trip.

Today we rode Horseshoe Meadow and Mt. Whitney portal for a total of 11,000 feet of elevation over 64 miles. There are a bunch of cool pics on my cellphone that will be posted once my phone can send them (not a lot of signal out here), so stay tuned for them.

I’m going to write about these rides in more detail later, but I wanted to post the elevation profile with my heart rate overlayed on it. The first hill is Horseshoe Meadow, the second is to Mt. Whitney portal. I wanted to do something special on the way to Whitney portal today and managed to be the first Descender to arrive at the portal. I can’t say how proud I am of this, it was truly special.

More later, We’ve got one more Monster to climb tomorrow.